The shift in becoming a parent can undoubtedly have a negative impact on your sex drive, and your physical connection with your partner. Bodily changes and the stress of bringing a whole new life into this world may put a damper on your sexual desire but don’t worry, it’s not forever.
You will slowly start to piece yourself together again by practicing self-care and patience with your remarkable body, which has literally just birthed life!
Recently, we read an interesting article on Gwyneth Paltrow’s blog, Goop, where a physical therapist shared a few important points that women should know before exploring sex after childbirth. Here’s the takeaway!
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Your nervous system has taken on a lot, mama
When your nervous system is overwhelmed by the stress that comes along with a newborn baby, sex won’t be at the top of your to-do list, and that’s okay.
You’re likely struggling with sleep deprivation and navigating new responsibilities, which can frazzle your nervous system. Be patient with yourself, and chat with your partner about exercising patience with you, too.
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Your body has changed
Did you know that childbirth can actually change your pelvic anatomy? As you may know, organs undergo shifts to accommodate the presence of a baby in the oven, and not everything will return to its original position.
Consequently, when you pick up on sexual activity after giving birth, your body may feel different compared to before pregnancy and that’s totally normal. However, if you experience pain or leakage, it is advisable to seek help from a specialist.
If pelvic floor dysfunction persists beyond the postpartum period, it is never too late to address it. It’s essential to practice patience when it comes to healing after childbirth. Straining your body when it’s trying to recover will only lengthen the recovery process.
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Hormonal imbalances will cause sensitivity, take it slow
You may notice that dryness and sensitivity joined the party after you gave birth…
Sex educator and doula Kiana Reeves tells Goop that this sensitivity stems from hormonal imbalances related to breastfeeding, which can also cause a slew of other symptoms like a decrease in libido, vaginal elasticity and lubrication. This can feel like a ‘burning sensitivity’ during penetration.
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Reeves advices that when engaging in post-pregnancy penetrative touch, take it slow. More of a ‘warm-up’ may be necessary for comfortable penetration, and your personal preferences for touch may have even changed, too. You will see these symptoms lessen once you start transitioning away from breastfeeding. For now, be patient with yourself and take it slow.
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Be gentle with scar tissue
Patience is key here, too. You may be experiencing hypersensitivity after childbirth due to tears, episiotomies, or C-section incisions. This will make things more uncomfortable when it comes to having sex.
Instead of jumping right in, work on gradually increasing your ability to tolerate touch, especially if you have sensitive scar tissue. Not sexy, we know…but building anticipation can be?
It’s a good idea is to work through the sensitivity on your own, first. Get a feel for where your body is at and how gentle you need to be with it. By employing gentle touch with soft materials like cotton or fabric, you will gradually experience less sensitivity in the area. Eventually, work your way up to using your fingers, which leads us to the next point…
Get comfortable with solo exploration
Before jumping into sex your partner, experts recommend it’s beneficial for women who have given birth to explore their bodies first. This way you can gauge where your body is at, and how comfortable you are with touch as well as how far you can go.
If you’re struggling with dryness or sensitivity during these explorations, find a lubricant to protect sensitive tissue and enhance the pleasure of touch, both solo and with your partner.
Remember, it all comes down to having patience with yourself, your body and your partner.
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Feature Image: Pexels / Vlada Karpovich
