The holiday season is often sold as the happiest time of the year, yet for many it is when depression deepens. Pressure to be cheerful, complex family dynamics, financial strain, loneliness and memories of those we have lost can make December one of the hardest months to face. If the holidays feel heavy this year, you are not alone, and there are kinder ways to navigate the weeks ahead.
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Why the holidays can feel heavy
Expectations rise just as routines fall away. Social calendars swell, spending increases and sleep takes a knock. If you are grieving, worried about money or simply stretched thin, the contrast between how you feel and how you are “supposed” to feel can be painful. Give yourself permission to lower the bar and focus on what supports your wellbeing rather than an idealised version of the season.
Grieving a loved one
The first holiday season after a loss often magnifies absence. That empty chair, the gap in a tradition or the silence where a voice once was can make celebration feel impossible. It is normal to feel a mix of sadness, anger, guilt and even moments of relief or joy. Allowing these emotions room to move is part of healthy grieving.
How to cope with grief
Make space to feel. You do not need to perform happiness or attend every gathering. Choose what feels manageable and let others know your limits. Consider a simple ritual that honours the person you miss, such as lighting a candle, cooking a favourite dish or taking a quiet walk where you share a memory. If isolation creeps in, reach out to someone you trust or join a support group. Professional help can also offer steady tools for getting through the season.
Job loss and money stress
Losing work is destabilising at any time, and more so in December. You may worry about disappointing family or not meeting traditions you once enjoyed. Start by acknowledging what has happened and adjust expectations for the holidays. Prioritise time together over purchases, and be honest with loved ones about what is possible this year.
Practical steps when funds are tight
Review your budget and trim non-essentials for the next few months. Plan low cost or free activities such as beach or park days, home picnics, board games or festive lights walks. Protect your mental health with small anchors you can control, like regular sleep and movement, and schedule time for updating your CV and gentle networking when you have capacity. If anxiety spikes, make use of community resources and counselling services where available.
Keep routines light and flexible
A few predictable anchors help everyone, especially children, feel steadier. Aim for regular meals, a calming morning, and consistent bedtimes where you can. Balance busy days with “nothing days” for rest and unstructured play. Use screens strategically when you need a breather, and set up simple play or quiet corners to reduce constant stimulation.
Protect your energy
Your nervous system sets the tone. Take short resets, breathe slowly, and step outside for light and air. Ask for practical help and accept it when offered. Not every day will be magical, and plans will change. That is not failure, it is life. Focus on connection rather than control: small moments of warmth, shared laughter, a hug at the right time.
You do not have to master the holidays. You only need to survive them with gentleness and honesty. Lower the pressure, keep rituals simple and lean on support where you can. The season will pass. Caring for yourself now makes space for steadier days ahead.
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