Want to be ageless? The truth is, you can be, because age is just a number. How you live your life is all about your attitude, which will determine your actions. Our experts share the mindsets, beliefs and actions that can help you to feel and stay youthful.
If you’re ageless, you know what it means to live life to the full. You don’t want to ‘outrun time’ or ‘stop the clock’ – and you certainly don’t base what you should or shouldn’t do on the age you are or wish you were. If you’re ageless, you don’t believe the best days are all behind you. You’re focused on the future – and making the most of every moment.
Our anti-ageing experts:
- Dr Christiane Northrup is an expert in women’s wellness, and the bestselling author of Goddesses Never Age.
- Sam Owen is a psychologist, relationship coach and author who specialises in self-esteem coaching.
Have a “be ageless” attitude
The power of pleasure
As the years pass by and your responsibilities pile high (children, the bond, elderly parents), the pursuit of pleasure often falls by the wayside. Seeking fun can seem superfluous and selfish when you’ve ‘grown up’ and recast yourself as endlessly giving and selflessly serving.
That’s when we start thinking in terms of ‘guilty pleasures’. So perhaps you book a massage – though you may apologise for it or even avoid telling your partner. But nothing drains the life force like trying to please everyone else and never yourself.
If you want to be ageless, however, you aim to be happy. You recognise the importance of making time to nurture your soul by losing yourself in whatever feels good – whether that’s dinner with friends, binge-watching The Good Wife, or sinking into a warm bath by candlelight. Pleasure is a priority, not a treat. No apologies needed.
Know what works for you
Agelessness means making decisions based on knowing what you want, being open to what’s new – but not a slave to it. So if you’re an analogue woman in a digital age, trust your judgement and choose what you like. The ageless have nothing to prove. Each week brings new tech and gadgets – pick and choose, adopt some, and relinquish of others.
Discard the past
Holding on to anger weighs us down – and ages us. Don’t bury emotions deeper with the passing years. The ageless can smile inwardly at a difficult colleague. They’ve seen enough teenage tantrums to know this one will pass. And even if they’ve been hurt and betrayed, they’ve learnt to release toxic feelings.
Move to discover
Remember how you moved as a child – the first time you raced downhill on a bike or did a somersault? When we’re very young, we move because we want to find out what’s possible with our bodies. Sometimes that exploration ends abruptly when movement is turned into ‘physical education’ and ‘proving ourselves’.
Once the joy is lost, you can find your adult self staying sedentary or trudging miserably to the gym. But the ageless keep moving with joy and curiosity intact, embracing adventure and exercise. Whether it’s flinging off your sandals to run barefoot on the beach, or getting on a horse, if you’re ageless, you move because you want to stretch yourself – and there’s always more to learn.
Free to be you
It could mean having the courage to stop dyeing your grey hair… or feeling able to start dyeing it because it makes you feel better. When it comes to looks, only you can decide what makes you feel ageless.
When choosing clothes, be led by your best features, not your faults. The ageless woman doesn’t slavishly follow trends, but if a trend draws her in, she’ll take it up, whether or not it’s aimed at her. Still not sure? Have the courage to ask for help: see a personal stylist, or ask a friend who has the gift of style.
An ageless person does not let the physical clutter of life, the accumulation of years, pile up and block out pleasure. Make sure your home is not stuffed with clutter that instantly reveals you take care of others and not yourself. Create a space where you feel happy and sensual every day – not just on special occasions.
Ageless in love
Marriages with more
The ageless couple notice and appreciate what they have, while understanding that there is always more to discover. They seek out novelty, opting for the ‘exciting’ (a concert or an art class) over the ‘pleasant’ (dinner and a film).
It also means spending time apart – having your own life makes you a far more interesting companion. Physical touch is important, too. Sex, yes, but also a squeeze of the hand, an arm around the shoulder. Research shows that when our partner touches us, we feel less stressed. Most couples touch regularly when they first get together – ageless couples make sure that never stops.
New ways of dating
Meet new people where the agenda isn’t just dating. Those with an ageless attitude go to talks that interest them (and places where there’ll be men around), social-media courses, or a business-led workshop. Online dating isn’t the only option.
When you’re making your life richer, you feel more fulfilled – that’s attractive. The ageless are optimistic, willing to try new things, and go on second dates with people who are ‘not their type’. They don’t settle just because they fear getting older and being alone.
Single second time around
If you’re single again, don’t let your life be defined by the search for ‘the right one’. To be ageless means grasping the possibility of being single again. Think about all the things you no longer do – ceroc dancing, rowing, reading groups, adventurous travel – and begin with those. A curious mindset and a full life are hallmarks of a truly ageless attitude.
DISCLAIMER: You must not rely on the information on this website/newsletter as an alternative to medical advice from your doctor or other professional healthcare provider.