From a picture-perfect European summer to spontaneous island escapes, it can sometimes feel as though everyone is having a better holiday than you. But what if the secret to a truly memorable getaway is letting go of the pressure to travel like everyone else?
There is a particular kind of holiday pressure that has very little to do with where you are going and everything to do with what everyone else is doing. You could be sitting beside a beautiful swimming pool, enjoying a slow breakfast at a charming guesthouse or watching the sunset from a beach just a few hours from home, yet somehow find yourself wondering whether you should have booked that trip to Italy instead.
Welcome to travel FOMO, the fear of missing out on experiences we believe everyone else is having.
Here is a thought worth carrying into your next trip – your holiday does not need to be the most exciting, luxurious or Instagram-worthy experience to be the right one for you.
The pressure to have a picture-perfect holiday
Social media has changed the way we discover destinations. A single video can introduce us to a little-known coastal town, a boutique hotel in the mountains or a restaurant that suddenly becomes the place everyone wants to visit. Travel inspiration is everywhere, and the possibilities can feel endless.
The downside? When every destination looks extraordinary online, it becomes easy to believe that our own experiences should be equally impressive.
Perhaps you feel you should visit five cities instead of spending a week in one. Maybe you are tempted to stretch your budget for a hotel because it looks beautiful in photographs, or you find yourself planning every hour of your itinerary to make sure you do not miss a supposedly unmissable attraction.
Suddenly, a holiday that was meant to offer a break from everyday life becomes another performance — one where you are simultaneously trying to enjoy yourself and prove that you are enjoying yourself.
Travel FOMO can also make us overlook what we genuinely want. We might book a busy city break when what we really need is a quiet weekend near the ocean, or choose an expensive international trip because it feels more impressive than exploring somewhere closer to home.
The problem is not wanting to see the world. It is allowing other people’s experiences to dictate what a good travel experience should look like.
You are seeing their highlights, not their whole holiday
One of the easiest things to forget when scrolling through travel content is that social media rarely shows the complete picture.
You see the beautiful hotel room, not necessarily the hours spent getting there. You see the perfectly styled dinner, not the inflated bill. You see the breathtaking viewpoint, but not the queue of tourists waiting for the same photograph.
Of course, those moments can be wonderful, and there is nothing wrong with wanting them for yourself. But a collection of carefully selected photographs cannot tell you whether someone felt relaxed, connected or fulfilled during their trip.
Comparing your entire holiday to somebody else’s highlight reel is an unfair exercise. Their travel style, budget, priorities and circumstances may be entirely different from yours.
Instead of asking whether your holiday looks as good as someone else’s, ask whether it feels good to you. Are you discovering something new? Are you resting? Are you spending meaningful time with people you love? Are you finally giving yourself permission to do very little?
Those experiences might not always translate into a dramatic Instagram carousel, but they can become the memories you treasure most.
The beauty of travelling at your own pace
Not every traveller wants an itinerary packed with activities, early-morning excursions and dinner reservations. Some people thrive on spontaneous adventures, while others prefer a slower rhythm with plenty of room for unplanned moments.
Neither approach is better. The trick is understanding which one suits you.
If your idea of a dream holiday involves waking up without an alarm, finding a little café and spending the afternoon reading beside the pool, there is no reason to turn it into a race to see every attraction in the area.
Equally, if you love exploring unfamiliar streets, visiting museums and trying something adventurous every day, you do not need to feel guilty for wanting a more active itinerary.
A meaningful holiday can look like a luxury safari, a solo city break, a road trip along the South African coast or a quiet weekend at a guesthouse in the countryside. It can be a long-haul adventure you have saved for over several years, or a spontaneous overnight stay that gives you something to look forward to.
The value of a trip is not determined by its distance, duration or price tag. Sometimes, the best holiday is simply the one that gives you what you need most at that particular moment in your life.
You do not have to do everything
One of the biggest contributors to travel FOMO is the fear of missing a supposedly essential experience. We save restaurant recommendations, bookmark sightseeing spots and create lists of places we must visit, often before we have even booked our accommodation.
While planning can be part of the fun, an overloaded itinerary can leave little room for the very thing we travelled for: the experience of being somewhere different.
Give yourself permission to leave things off the list.
You do not have to visit every landmark, eat at every recommended restaurant or book every excursion. You can skip the attraction everyone is talking about if it does not interest you. You can spend an afternoon wandering without a destination, return to a restaurant you loved or change your plans because the weather is perfect for doing absolutely nothing.
And if you do miss something? There is no need to treat it as a failure. The world will still be there to explore another time.
Try choosing two or three experiences that genuinely excite you, then leave the rest of your itinerary flexible. You may discover that the unplanned moments become the most memorable part of your trip.
A closer-to-home holiday can be just as rewarding
There is also a tendency to equate travel with international destinations. Somewhere along the way, we began treating passport stamps as proof of an adventurous life, overlooking the possibilities waiting much closer to home.
For South African travellers, that might mean trading the pressure of an expensive overseas trip for a few days exploring the Garden Route, discovering a quieter corner of the Cape Winelands, booking a countryside retreat or spending a weekend in a coastal town you have never properly explored.
A local escape can offer a change of scenery without the additional costs, long-haul flights or complicated planning. It may even allow you to travel more frequently throughout the year rather than saving every adventure for one major annual holiday.
Of course, international travel can be extraordinary, and there are places many of us dream of seeing. But you do not need to wait until you can afford the most impressive trip on your wish list to experience the joy of getting away.
Adventure is not reserved for people with the biggest budgets or the longest itineraries. Sometimes, it begins with taking a different road home.
How to stop comparing your holiday to everyone else’s
You do not need to delete every travel account you follow or stop looking for inspiration. A few small changes can help you approach your next getaway with more intention.
1. Decide what you want from the trip before you start planning.
Do you need rest, adventure, romance, quality time with friends or an opportunity to experience a new culture? Identifying your priorities makes it easier to choose a destination and activities that genuinely suit you.
2. Set a budget that lets you enjoy yourself.
A holiday should not leave you financially anxious simply because you felt pressure to book a particular hotel or experience. Choose what you can comfortably afford, and remember that spending more does not automatically mean enjoying yourself more.
3. Curate your travel inspiration.
Pay attention to how the content you consume makes you feel. If certain accounts leave you feeling inadequate or convinced that your own experiences are never enough, consider muting them. Follow travellers who inspire curiosity rather than comparison.
4. Leave room for unplanned moments.
Resist the urge to schedule every hour. A flexible itinerary gives you space to follow a recommendation from a local, linger over lunch or discover a place you had not planned to visit.
5. Be present for the experience itself.
Take photographs if you enjoy doing so, but do not feel obligated to document everything. Put your phone away occasionally and notice the details: the food, the sounds, the scenery and the feeling of being somewhere new.
6. Stop measuring your holiday by its content potential.
Not every moment needs to become a photograph, a story or a post. Some experiences are valuable precisely because you get to enjoy them without thinking about how they will look to anyone else.
Let your next holiday be yours
Perhaps the most liberating thing about travelling is realising that there is no single correct way to do it.
You can love luxury hotels and still enjoy a simple camping trip. You can dream of travelling internationally while appreciating a weekend away in your own province. You can spend a week exploring a new city or return to the same beach every summer because it makes you happy.
Your preferences are allowed to change, too. The adventurous holiday you craved in your twenties might look different from the restorative escape you need now. A trip that once felt exciting may no longer appeal to you, and that is perfectly fine.
Travel is personal. It should reflect your interests, circumstances, energy levels and budget — not the expectations created by somebody else’s photographs.
So, the next time you catch yourself comparing your holiday to another person’s, take a moment to reconsider what you are actually looking for. Is it their destination, or the feeling you imagine they are experiencing? Is it the luxury, or the freedom? Is it the adventure, or simply the desire to do something different?
Once you identify what you really want, you can start planning experiences that fulfil you rather than chasing ones that look impressive.
Because the best holiday is not necessarily the one everyone else wishes they were on. It is the one you return from feeling glad you went.
And if that means spending an entire afternoon beside the pool, eating your way through a little seaside town or discovering that your favourite travel memory happened just around the corner, then perhaps you have found exactly the kind of holiday you needed.
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Featured Image: Pexels
