This performance, recently shown at the Artscape Women’s Humanity Festival, combines well-loved music from opera and musical theatre with lesser-known compositions. In an interview with Lisa Abdellah, Ernestine warmly invites us to step into her world as a woman, mother, daughter and artist.
What do you remember about growing up in Belhar?
I often wondered why the houses were so flat. I wanted to live in a home with a high roof, and now I do. Every morning when I left home to go to school, there would be the same people standing on corners, not going to work but waiting for a gelukkie (stroke of luck). Belhar was good to me; it taught me how to survive in the jungle. I became strong there and learned how to stand up for myself.
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You share your and your father’s battle with addiction with an audience of perfect strangers. Admitting your faults, being vulnerable, warts and all, must’ve taken a lot of inner work, curiosity and compassion for your younger self. Why did you take drugs? How did it affect your daily life? What was living with a father who was an alcoholic like?
It takes a lot of self-acceptance to share personal information with others, but I felt I had to. I want others to understand that what you see is not necessarily what you get. We all have a story; we come from somewhere. Pain, trauma and emotional damage made me the woman I am today.
Dad’s alcoholism impacted my entire family’s life. As a child, seeing him like that warped my image of what it means to be a man. We lost our father-daughter relationship, which took years to rebuild.
I took drugs because I wanted to belong, and to numb the pain and take me away from reality. Little by little, substance abuse robbed me of the person I thought I wanted to be, my self-esteem, connection with reality and the true meaning of love.
Even though I grew up in a disadvantaged area, no one looked down on my dreams and goals. On the contrary, my community always believed I’d make it someday. I came from a good home despite my father’s drinking problem, and people who lived in our area admired us regardless of our circumstances. My story offers teenagers hope that their current circumstances needn’t define who they become.
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You made the provincial track team as a 100-metre hurdler
I hurt my hamstring in primary school, not seriously, but by the time I was in high school, my drug abuse, poor diet and overtraining had led to a permanent, career-ending injury. I was devastated, but God had other plans for me.
What made you decide to quit drugs? What did you learn about yourself during your recovery? How did your faith play into that?
I grew tired of feeling lazy and unworthy. You never stop recovering, so I’m still learning how to be strong, independent and, most of all, mindful of other people’s emotions and journeys. Faith and godly consciousness saved me. God has always been the pillar throughout my life. Whatever has happened, good or bad, is His plan.
How did you meet Virginia Davids and develop a love of singing?
After a school choir concert, she asked me to sing in her adult choir at ComArt, an Elsies River-based community arts organisation that helps develop youths through music and dance. Virginia introduced me to various forms of art, which I fell in love with because they allowed me to express myself, and I realised I was talented!
My proudest moment in my career was singing the Bess cadenza in one of the scenes in Porgy and Bess at Theatre an der Wien. That’s when I saw the light at the end of my tunnel.
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What informed your set and music choices?
I chose a lounge because I wanted to invite the audience into my home, free to engage with me on an emotional and spiritual level. I wanted people, especially women, to step into my world, sit beside me, relate to my stories and share my pain, yet find comfort in knowing they’re not alone. A song accompanied each of my life stages, one I’d learned at the time that brought all the emotions I felt while rehearsing it flooding back.
You share the pain of losing your mother, Mary-ann Stuurman, who died of colon cancer three years ago.
My family and loved ones mean the world to me – I don’t know where I’d be without their support, honesty and love, and reminders that God is at the forefront of everything. I never thought Mom would leave me so soon. She was my best friend, and her passing forced me to ‘woman up’ – being a woman is a superpower – and see the world for what it is. It hurts not being able to speak to her, but she lives on in my heart.
This article was written and supplied by Lisa Abdellah.
All photos were taken by Monray Classen.
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