Adult friendships can be complicated – most friendships circles are built on shared history, so it can feel intimidating to make connections with people who already have their own friendships. However, with an open mind and heart, and a willingness to be your true self, you can resonate with the right people with whom you can build new connections. And this is how.
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We know that friendships aren’t just nice to have – they’re important for well-being, helping us feel connected and giving us a sense of belonging. But making friends can feel daunting when it seems as though everyone else already has their ‘tribe’; people with whom they share history, inside jokes and an established understanding of each other.
Making friends as an adult can be overwhelming on its own, never mind trying to forge relationships with people with their own friendship circles. But the good news is that it’s not too late. With a few intentional steps – and a mindset shift – you can have meaningful connections and build lasting friendships.
1. Go where the same people gather
Follow your interests. Whether it’s a bookclub, volunteering, community group, exercise class or workshop, occupy spaces where you’ll likely encounter the same people regularly. Focus on your enjoyment first – repeated interactions can help connections develop organically.
2. Don’t wait to be adopted into a friendship group
It may be intimidating to see people enjoying established friendships, but try not to assume that every group is closed to newcomers. A simple conversation can be the first step. Be yourself rather than performing. Your authenticity is likely to resonate with the right people.
3. Look for one connection at a time
Making one friend can feel less intimidating that trying to appeal to a whole group. Pay attention to the person whose personality feels the most compatible. Sometimes one connection is all you need to get started.
4. Be brave enough to make the first move
Be intentional: Ask for contact information. If you enjoyed talking to the person, suggest a coffee meet-up or something low-effort. And always follow up while the connection is still fresh.
5. Show up consistently
Familiarity builds trust. Remember that adult friendships often requires more intentionality. It’s about small repeated interactions.
6. Give new friendships time to grow
Adult friendships can feel awkward at first. Keep in mind that not every coffee date will lead to a life-long best friend – and that’s OK. The goal is to stay open and willing to connect.
The bottom line
You don’t have to recreate childhood friendships. Adult friendships can be more complex to navigate. But you can be part of a group with whom you share your interests; a space where you can laugh, love, and build connections that add meaning to your life.
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Featured Image: Unsplash
