When children don’t have consideration for others, show ungratefulness, expect to rescued from their mistakes, or have outbursts when told no, they may be showing signs of entitlement. In the moment, the parent may be tempted to give in or let it go, but if this behaviour is not addressed, they might grow up to become entitled adults. And it will get them in trouble. Here are key conversations to have with entitled children so they learn resilience and empathy.
ALSO SEE: The joys of having children later in life: What to expect
It’s safe to say all parents want their children to have an easier life than they did. So they may provide their kids with every convenience possible – the best schools, access to resources and making sure their basic needs are met. But sometimes, the downside is that the child – who may have never known the reality of struggle – grows up with a sense of entitlement.
It shows up in subtle ways: reluctance to help out, frustration when told no, or the expectation that reward comes without effort. But the good news for worried parents is that entitlement is not fixed. By having important conversations, you can reshape it into empathy and gratitude.
How does entitlement show up?
Your children will test your boundaries, but if there’s a consistent pattern, there might be something deeper. Notice when your child has a habit of dismissing others’ feelings, struggles with disappointment, or expecting praise with minimal effort. These behaviours are learned, so they can be course-corrected.
Start with perspective, not punishment
You may be tempted to label a behaviour as ‘bad’. Instead, open a dialogue with the aim of teaching your child self-awareness. Ask: How do you think that made your friend feel?, or What could you do differently next time? This forces them to self-reflect. More importantly, it helps them develop emotional awareness, rather than defensiveness.
Speak about effort and value
We get it – you want your child to do well, even be the best. However, children who equate worth with outcomes like awards, trophies or marks, can slip into entitlement. Prioritise and acknowledge effort, and the process of learning. Praise persistence or problem-solving. This way, you’re teaching them that value isn’t innate or given – it is built.
Give them responsibilities
Small responsibilities and chores are grounding tools, not punishments. Create an environment where every one contributes to the household, instead of framing it like a list of obligations. They will start to understand shared effort and mutual respect.
Don’t be afraid to say ‘no’, and delayed gratification
It can be tempting to give in, especially if you yourself struggle with confrontation or conflict. But hearing ‘no’ is an essential life skill. Explain your reasoning and stick to your rules and boundaries no matter how intense the meltdown or tantrum might be. Over time, it’ll build emotional regulation and patience.
Final thoughts
Model what you want to see. If you’re a regulated and empathetic parent, who apologises when you’re wrong and shows consideration for others, your children are likely to model you. Raising a grounded child is not about removing comforts or letting them struggle like you struggled. It’s about balance. Remember that the conversations you have today shape them for the adults they’ll become.
ALSO SEE:
Featured image: Pexels
