Christmas is associated with words like “cheer”, “family and friends”, “food”, “festivity” and a plethora of others that have graced every festive card ever.
Something we don’t talk about enough is that these words are not warm and fuzzy-inducing terms for everyone. For some, the feelings that arise are sensations of tangled Christmas lights in our stomachs.
This exploration of ‘festive-inspired anxiety’ has very little to do with wanting to be a Grinch. Some anxious folks adore the season as much as the next carol-singing person, but can’t enjoy it quite the same way.
You might catch yourself wondering, “what’s there to be anxious about?” Let’s get into it:
The crux of the matter is the pressure this time of year places on many, like coal under a Christmas tree.
For the people who can’t relate to this phenomenon but might know someone who does, take a step into the anxious mind’s boots. Imagine if crowds were a lot to handle on an ordinary day. Now with the festive frenzy, that feeling is like putting the volume on full. If food is already something that causes a punch of stress, then best believe the holidays are like being boxed by Muhammad Ali. If family and friend dynamics were already an engine revver for some people, then the festive period and all its obligation pressures, or feelings of isolation, are equivalent to the cars that cruise down camps bay fast and furiously.
The good news for those who understand the hard-to-navigate feelings of this festive assignment is that we’re not alone. And even better? It’s okay.
Mental health doesn’t take a holiday. So, here’s a gentle game plan
There are four stressor points for people who experience festive season anxiety, according to newvisionpsychology. Environmental, financial, relationship-based and emotional triggers. Learning how to move with these stresses, rather than against them help the holidays seem far less daunting.
What each festive stressor means:
- Environmental stressors are to do with feeling rushed and routines being off.
- Financial speaks to the very real aspect of the festive season that big companies like to make us forget are there, or capitalise on with their “deals” that aren’t always actually “deals” at all. That being, affordability.
- Relationship pressures can range anywhere from feeling pressured to seeing family members you normally wouldn’t. Feeling odd for not having a “normal” family set up, relationship pressure as it can seem that everyone is either locked down in love or living their best single life, and you may feel you’re not on either side of the coin.
- Emotional triggers can be caused by all of the above or bad festive season experiences in your past.
According to psychologists, here are some helpful ways to charter these waters
Control what you can
(Whatever this looks like to you).
For some, it’s whipping out the old notebook and making some to-do lists. From scheduling time to see others, to gift list planning and all the way to things you’d actually like to do for yourself, or need to. Make budgets. Plan for homemade gifts if you have to. Writing it all out piece by piece makes it look smaller and more possible. Some sort of planning and the act of writing these plans down can take what’s on your mind and give it somewhere else to live in a space you can control.
Give yourself the gift of routine
Routine helps us in the chaos, and still doing things we’d normally do can help us breathe. It’s okay to fit other things around what is important to you. It’s important not to prioritise gift shopping over something very essential to your well-being (like a therapy appointment for example, or a class you’d usually attend).
Set boundaries like others set plans
Maybe this means saying no to some festive events because you actually need to work and can’t physically do both no matter how much you’d like to. Or saying no to time with relatives or friends back in town for the holidays you’d rather not see because the toll of the experience can be far worse than the act of saying no. It could be turning down a New Years’ event if you have health and safety concerns. Setting boundaries is paramount to alleviating stress in the moment and post-stress too.
Open Up like a Christmas present
Explaining how you’re feeling to people and that you’re not just grinching-out is all important. You need to let people into your world so you don’t look like you’re just being rude for no reason.
Do the festive things you actually like
Remember when you were a kid, and the best part of the season was going to look at Christmas lights? Or staring at the tree just because it was marvelous? Maybe it was staying in your PJs and watching Christmas movies in the morning. Reigniting that childhood wonder, when the world was seen through our child-like eyes, can remind us of a feeling we thought we’d forgotten.
Shift your perspective on the festive season
It doesn’t have to look the way society has presented it to us to be good. Read that again.
Give yourself a break
This year we dove right back into the world in full force. People are burnt out, tired and spread thin. Be understanding to be understood.
ALSO SEE:
Here’s how to let your burnt-out partner know that you’re here for them
Feature Image: Mark Meredith/ Getty
