Friendships are meant to be supportive, uplifting and mutually respectful. Sometimes a relationship that once felt positive starts to drain your energy, affect your confidence or leave you uneasy. These can be signs of a toxic friendship, a dynamic where one person’s behaviour consistently harms your wellbeing. Here are the cues to watch for and what they mean.
You feel drained after spending time together
Healthy friendships should leave you feeling lighter. If you consistently walk away exhausted, anxious or emotionally heavy, pause and ask why. That pattern suggests the relationship is taking more than it gives.
The friendship feels one-sided
If you are always the one initiating conversations, offering support or making plans while the other person rarely reciprocates, the imbalance points to an unhealthy dynamic. Friendship should be a two-way exchange.
They criticise or belittle you
Constructive feedback is different from repeated put-downs, mocking or subtle jabs. Toxic friends often hide criticism behind “just joking”, which chips away at confidence and leaves you feeling judged.
They only show up when they need something
A toxic friend may disappear during your difficult moments, but expect you to drop everything when they are in need. Support that is conditional and self-serving is a warning sign.
They foster competition or jealousy
Rather than celebrating your achievements, a toxic friend may compete with you, minimise your success or act threatened by your growth. That response erodes trust and safety.
They do not respect your boundaries
Guilt-tripping, ignoring limits or pushing you into uncomfortable situations shows disregard for your needs. Boundary violations are a major red flag.
You cannot be yourself around them
If you find yourself walking on eggshells, hiding parts of who you are or feeling pressured to act differently, the friendship may no longer be healthy.
Recognising these behaviours does not mean you must cut someone off immediately. Awareness gives you the power to set boundaries, communicate your needs and decide whether the relationship still serves you. Healthy friendships should bring out the best in you, not leave you questioning your worth. If honest conversations and clear boundaries do not lead to change, it may be time to end the friendship with care.
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