Relationships are unique, complicated, and ever-changing – they can be hard work. Maintaining a relationship can feel challenging and overwhelming at times. But science claims that we don’t need to be doing fancy things all the time if we want to have a healthy relationship. Believe it or not, the key to a healthy relationship may be simpler than you might think… We chat to author Mark Manson about unlocking a happy long-term relationship.
It’s not a new-age therapy or couples class. It also doesn’t involve grand gestures. Instead, ‘being boring’ together could help you be more content in the long run. Three cheers for a night in!
A healthy relationship is being boring, together
According to Mark, relationships could benefit from being “as boring as possible”. Even though that might sound a bit strange, he’s got a good reason for saying that. Yes, you read that right. Mark encourages ‘boring’ downtime to solidify your relationship.
Speaking to Business Insider, Mark said, “That sounds really weird to people but if you think about it, a really happy 80-year-old couple that’s been together for 60 years, the reason that they’ve been together for 60 years, it isn’t because they took all these private jets and they had these crazy vacations and ‘Oh my God, look at their pictures.’”
He added, “It’s because they were able to be boring together. They are able to spend year after year, sitting around the house, talking about the same boring stuff, watching TV, watching movies, cooking dinner, and it went fine. There was nothing exciting, there’s nothing blowing up, there’s no huge drama, and dishes flying.”
Set your own pace
It seems that the happiest couples have simple, quiet lifestyles where they can enjoy each other’s company without feeling the pressure to be ‘interesting’ or constantly jetting off on fancy holidays.
This is a huge relief considering the unrealistic expectations set by social media and the Age of the Influencer. Mark reckons you don’t need to be spending thousands, and you can store your ‘keeping up with the Jones’s’ attitude for something other than your relationship.
So staying in, chatting about your day over a glass of wine, can help your relationship, and not hurt it. A healthy relationship isn’t always an expensive one. Revel in your run-of-the-mill shared interests and watch your favourite movies after a long week. If your relationship’s in a bit of a rut, you don’t need to book a trip to Thailand just yet – promise.
If you’d like to read more of Mark’s writings, visit his site here.