We asked expert Adele Theron, a change management specialist and divorce coach, to share her survival tips for getting you through your divorce in one piece. Here is what she had to say…
1. Don’t sit around doing nothing while you’re going through your divorce – that’s the worst mistake of all. Healing doesn’t ‘just happen’ – it’s an active process that requires concentration and focus.
2. Avoid STEATS (short-term emotion avoidance tactics), such as excessive socialising, shopping, drinking and workaholic behaviour, which take you away from healing.
3. Focus on how you feel. Completely surrender to your emotions. Rather than trying to keep yourself together or put on a brave face, scream, cry, sob, be depressed and let it all out.
4. Go cold turkey and don’t see your ex while you heal.
5. Write your relationship story, and articulate everything you learnt from the relationship so you can do better in the future.
6. Be honest about the true source of your divorce. Try to take responsibility for your own part, rather than just blaming your ex.
7. Establish a grounded routine as fast as you’re able. It really helps to have a structure and built-in purposes to your days.
8. Get back in touch with your dreams; the ones you’d forgotten or put on hold – and make plans to see how you can make them happen.
“Yes, like the country,” is India’s go-to phrase when meeting people for the first time. A lover of the English language, India is a sub-editor and occasional writer, who pores over words on a daily basis. In her spare time, you’ll likely find her at a concert or daydreaming about her next overseas trip (with the Pinterest boards to prove it).