Reaching half a century is a milestone – a time when we’re wiser, calmer and more confident. But life may also feel at its most demanding. This is the age of the sandwich generation, when many of us are supporting elderly parents while raising kids – not to mention juggling jobs, partners and health issues. It is, quite possibly, when we need our friends the most, but friendships are often the ball we drop.
But did you know that people with a network of supportive friends are seven times more likely to feel happy and satisfied with their lives, according the the World Happiness Report?
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Fifty-plus and in need of friends? Here are 5 ways to find them:
Go online
Finding friends online may feel unnatural to older generations, but virtual friendships can be just as life-affirming. This is especially true for people who are isolated, housebound or have interests they can’t physically access.
“For those over 50, connecting with others online can be just as fulfilling, nourishing and enjoyable as offline friendships,” says Martin Lock, CEO of Silversurfers – an online community for over 50s.
“It’s never too late to find new connections, share experiences and build meaningful relationships in the digital world.”
Martin recommends joining reputable online communities, taking your time to let friendships grow organically, and trusting your instincts as you would if you’d met in person.
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Embrace hobbies and activities
If there’s something you’ve always wanted to do, put yourself out there. “It can be a great way to meet people who share your interests,” says psychologist Dr Rina Bajaj. Used to enjoy swimming? Join a wild swim group. “Swimming really fast-tracks relationships,” says Kate Rew, author of The Outdoor Swimmers’ Handbook.
“It can free us up to be ourselves without pretence – doing something we love when we get together with new people is time well spent. Going on these swim adventures creates memories in small fractions of time, and we have experiences that leave us feeling bonded.”
By investing in whatever makes you feel good, you’re connecting with others who feel the same.
Be chatty with the neighbours
A survey by Nextdoor – a website that connects you to your neighbours – found that three in four people feel friendly with their neighbours. Having support near at hand can be invaluable, especially if you don’t live near family or close ties.
If you’d like to turn neighbours into friends, Dr Bajaj suggests starting with small talk. Be friendly, approachable and available – you can do this by feeding their cat, or volunteering at community events. To enrich these interactions, being appreciative goes a long way.
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Look for like-minded people
Friendships are like relationships in that, ideally, you’ll match with those who share your experiences, outlook and values. This could be through sport, creative endeavours, a faith or via groups for people who’ve been through similar challenges.
Nina Thair organises a monthly social gathering in her community. “I’ve made a new group of friends who are childless not by choice (CNBC). I’ve found a group of women with a shared experience to connect with,” she says.
Reconnect with old friends
Modern life makes it easier than ever to approach people that you’ve drifted apart from. The chances are you share memories, which can act as a springboard to revitalising friendships.
“Reach out to old friends and acquaintances that you may have lost touch with,” says Dr Bajaj. Social media can be a great way to reconnect, she suggests. Alternatively, you could send a simple text that says, “How are you? Fancy a catch-up?” If they don’t respond, try not to take it personally – the timing might not be right for them.
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