Life can get stressful and busy, making time with your partner scarce – but an active sex life is so important, whatever your age. Studies have shown that sex can boost your immune system, lower blood pressure and aid sleep. Not to mention the mood-enhancing and weight-loss benefits – and yes, sex definitely counts as exercise!
Follow these 5 tips to put the passion back into your relationship!
Fall in love all over again
“Try banishing the kids and inviting him to a romantic dinner at home,” says clinical psychologist, Dr Julie Gottman. “Open up the conversation by asking him intimate questions that unlock the mind and heart. Try these: ‘What is the one dream you still wish you could fulfil? What are you most proud of?’ Share your answers, too.”
Schedule time together
“Book an ‘appointment’ with each other just to be together, only agreeing that you will hug and kiss”, says psychotherapist Phillip Hodgson. “Give yourselves the opportunity to lose your clothes, but never attempt to mandate passion.” More often than not, the time together will naturally lead to more intimacy and sex.
Be the one to initiate
“What women who never initiate sex don’t realise, is that their passivity is an inverted form of control,” Phillip says. “Initiating sex isn’t difficult – nine times out of ten, all it takes is a creeping hand across the bed linen, but making the first move occasionally is a clear statement of intent. It says, ‘I want sex just as much as you do’, and for a man that’s tremendously reassuring.”
Invest in your self-esteem
“Nothing is more flirtatious than putting time in to looking sexy, yet for many of us this falls flat in the face of our busy schedules,” says Dr Laura Berman. “But neglecting your appearance means neglecting your self-esteem; especially true for women. Not only will your libido take a hit as a result, but your partner will incorrectly assume you don’t care to entice him any longer. Try exchanging your sweats for tight-fitting jeans or your ponytail for ablow-dry at weekends.”
You don’t have to dress up in over-the-top outfits or role play to get your partner’s attention. Just be yiourself. “Subtle gestures are turn-ons for men and women: smile into your partner’s eyes, lick your lips, play with your hair, or cross and uncross your legs seductively”, Dr Berman says.