Womanhood is so much more than libido. A time comes when it naturally declines. How will you define yourself then? Lear how to reframe the conversation, and how to rediscover your magic as a woman.
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We live in a world that ties femininity to sexuality very closely. But it’s only one part of it. Womanhood is not defined by libido. This is important to realise for woman who are going through menopause, hormonal changes or women who just don’t add too much value to sexuality (they exist). For those who do value libido, when it declines, it can feel deeply unsettling. Take a pause and consider that womanhood is far more complex and richer and enduring, and that you can decide at any time how to define yourself.
Womanhood is not one-dimensional
Cultural narratives paint a particular picture of the complete woman: she’s expected to be desirable and sexually responsive. If she’s not, there’s something wrong with her. This narrow view is problematic because it overlooks the many other facets of womanhood and puts her sexual expression as the forefront. But compassion, creativity, wisdom are just as vital.
A lower libido doesn’t erase your femininity. It’s simply a shift in perspective, and indicator of a transition to the next phase.
Honour the season you’re in
Menopause, stress, lifestyle habits or simply ageing can all bring about a decrease in libido. Instead of resisting it, approach this stage with curiosity rather than disappointment. What does your body need now? How can you create comfort and confidence? Reframe the experience and use it to understand yourself better.
Redefine intimacy
The expectation that women should always be sexually ‘ready’ is rooted in certain sinister systems that’s still at play. Realise the lie and that our sexuality works differently than men’s. Intimacy isn’t always physical or sexual. Intimacy can be meaningful conversations, shared experiences or laughing together.
Be honest with your partner and communicate your needs and expectations. Both of you are likely to find new and fun ways to find yourselves all over again.
Reconnect with yourself
More women are realising that they are not to be defined as passive counterparts for men. Feeling like a woman comes from how you relate to yourself first. Engage in your hobbies, take a self-care day, pursue personal goals to enforce your own identity. There’s no single way to embody femininity – do what feels right.
The bottom line
Sexual desire, if expressed in a healthy context, is wonderful. But you are also more than desire. A decrease in libido doesn’t lessen your worth, identity or attractiveness. Remember ladies, womanhood doesn’t extinguish with age, it actually expands into something more grounding. Enjoy the process.
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