Self-esteem isn’t always destroyed by a single event, but slowly over time. Sometimes we’re not even aware of the habits responsible. Learn the behaviours that might be silently chipping away at your self-worth, and how to fix them.
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We are all born with an innate sense of our own abilities and worth. Ever known a baby who stopped themselves from learning to reach their milestones because they doubt themselves? Never. But as we grow up and learn the codes of life, certain routines, thoughts and habits shape our self-esteem, and it gets chipped away every day. If you feel like your confidence is not what it used to be, like there’s just something off, you may want to take a closer look.
1. Comparison culture
Seeing the curated lives of others on social media can make you feel like you’re behind. Over time, you become used to subconsciously measure your worth against highly unrealistic standards. And you overlook your unique path and pace in life.
2. Saying ‘yes’ when you mean ‘no’
Keeping the peace means agreeing to things you may not be comfortable with. The cost is your self-respect. Every time you ignore your instincts, needs and boundaries, you signal to yourself that your time and energy don’t matter.
3. Negative self-talk
You might not hear it audibly, but your inner voice operates in a way that influences your view of yourself. ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘I always mess up’ – these are limiting beliefs. And after a while, they feel like facts. Interrupt those feelings, and replace them with positive self-talk.
4. Waiting for validation
This one is dangerous. When you rely on praise and approval from the outside, you create space for self-doubt to take root. A healthy self-esteem starts when you validate yourself first.
5. Perfectionism vs. productivity
Striving for excellence is healthy but can be a slippery slope. Perfectionism keep you stuck in the fear of failure and you stop celebrating small wins or taking risks. This can affect your belief in your own abilities.
6. Neglecting self-care
Ignoring your emotional and physical needs or self-care quietly signals that you’re not a priority. Self-care isn’t just an indulgent practice but essential to how you value yourself.
The bottom line
The great news is that humans are wonderfully adaptable. Any habit can be changed. Start small – replace one negative thought, set one boundary, and celebrate the smallest win. Build confidence over time, be deliberate about it and enjoy getting to know the best version of yourself.
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Featured image: Pexels
